Wine Critics

I’ve just drunk a bottle of red wine (well, in truth, two bottles, well actually three – but they’re only little) on my British Airways flight to Dubai – The front of the bottle informed me that it was a “Specially Selected” Tempranillo Syrah in which:

A complex and expressive bouquet combines ripe red fruit and spices.  Good structure thanks to tanins, which are present but silky, while the taste is rich and lasting.”

I didn’t understand any of that so, seeking inspiration, I turned to the back of the bottle which told me that the wine had a:

“Sustained nose with expressive aromas of sour cherries and macerated prunes, set off by delicate notes of bitter cocoa and sweet spices.”

Who writes this bollocks?  “Expressive aromas of …… macerated prunes”– macerated in what, I ask?  Surely the mascerating liquor would determine the “aroma”…. Or is that just me being a bit dim?  And “… delicate notes of bitter cocoa…” Well I’ve smelt “bitter cocoa” – and tasted it – and let me tell you, there is NOTHING “delicate” about bitter cocoa!!  As for the “mascerated prunes” bit…. Well my Mum always told me that prunes and licorice alike give you a good run for your money….  So did this wine…. Which is not helpful on a 7 hour flight!!!

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